Two Roads DIverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by. (Cassandra Nader)
Matthew 7:13-14 "
" Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:
Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. "
I have lived in the World, I have not always been "good" or "holy", I have not always loved Jesus.
I came to an Apostolic Church when I was 18 years old. I didn't understand much, if anything, at first. Frankly I was so terrified the first service I went to that I wanted to literally run out, but I didn't, 1) My friend had brought me and I had no way of escape 2) My soul recognized that what I felt was God and the only reason I was afraid was because I didn't understand what was happening.
I eventually became hungry for the Truth and started attending regularly. I had weekly bible studies with the Pastor's wife and spent a lot of time with the Pastor's family. I was baptized and filled with the Holy Ghost the month I turned 19.
A year later I left church. My hunger for Truth had been pushed aside as I began to put other things before God, until I reached a point of such doubt that I made the decision to walk away. The last prayer I prayed before leaving was this "God if you are real, if any of this really matters, then make a way for me to come back." and then I shut the door to my heart in the face of God, and walked away.
I was out of church for approximately a year, and during that year I went through some of the hardest times in my life. Anytime I felt God reaching out to me I would violently push Him away. I did not need Him, I did not want Him, I was convinced I could do everything just fine without Him.
And despite my anger and disinterest towards God, He still watched over me, and waited for me to open the door again.
I remember the day He spoke to me, and this time I didn't push away. He showed me a fork in the road and said "You can keep going on this path, the one you're one now, and MAYBE later on you'll come back to church, but it will be very hard, and you might not make it." That echoed in my mind, God just told me that I "might not make it" and then He said " or you can choose this way, and go back now, and it will be easier." I responded and said "Now sounds good."
I went home and started going back to church. I was not instantaneously changed, it took time to get my mindset out of where I had been and on to where I was headed. There were many times that I fell, but instead of walking away I kept pushing forward (with lots of help from God).
There were plenty of trials, tears, pain, misunderstanding, and frustration. I had been back in church about a year and a half, maybe two. I was attending IBC and I was struggling. I had begun to let things creep in front of God again and I was beginning to feel that pull back down the wrong path.
During a chapel service, while I was praying, I felt God speaking to me again. I imagined myself inside a ship, standing on deck, and the sea was raging, the storm was overwhelming. As the ship tossed, I fell overboard, but somehow managed to catch a rope. As I'm holding on, I look up and see the ship, I look down and see the sea. I didn't know if I had the strength to climb,but I knew if I fell I would be lost, I would die in the storm. At that moment I knew I had a decision to make and I decided that no matter what I would hold on, that I would never let go.
What this imagination/vision, whatever you want to call it, showed me is that if I let every storm overwhelm me, I would be lost; but if I made the decision to hang on to God, to hang on to the Truth, no matter what, that I could make it, that God would make a way and He would be with me every step.
That day I purposed in my heart that I would not look back, that I would never let go. Even if times get hard, which they will, I will not leave from following after God. Even if the rest of my life I was simply hanging on through the storm, I would not let go.
Psalm 119:30-35 "I have chosen the way of truth: thy judgments have I laid before me.
I have stuck unto thy testimonies: O LORD, put me not to shame.
I will run the way of thy commandments, when thou shalt enlarge my heart.
Teach me, O LORD, the way of thy statutes; and I shall keep it unto the end.
Give me understanding, and I shall keep thy law; yea, I shall observe it with my whole heart.
Make me to go in the path of thy commandments; for therein do I delight. "
I have made my choice. I have chosen the way of Truth, no turning back, no giving up, all or nothing.
What choice have you made?
" Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:
Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. "
I have lived in the World, I have not always been "good" or "holy", I have not always loved Jesus.
I came to an Apostolic Church when I was 18 years old. I didn't understand much, if anything, at first. Frankly I was so terrified the first service I went to that I wanted to literally run out, but I didn't, 1) My friend had brought me and I had no way of escape 2) My soul recognized that what I felt was God and the only reason I was afraid was because I didn't understand what was happening.
I eventually became hungry for the Truth and started attending regularly. I had weekly bible studies with the Pastor's wife and spent a lot of time with the Pastor's family. I was baptized and filled with the Holy Ghost the month I turned 19.
A year later I left church. My hunger for Truth had been pushed aside as I began to put other things before God, until I reached a point of such doubt that I made the decision to walk away. The last prayer I prayed before leaving was this "God if you are real, if any of this really matters, then make a way for me to come back." and then I shut the door to my heart in the face of God, and walked away.
I was out of church for approximately a year, and during that year I went through some of the hardest times in my life. Anytime I felt God reaching out to me I would violently push Him away. I did not need Him, I did not want Him, I was convinced I could do everything just fine without Him.
And despite my anger and disinterest towards God, He still watched over me, and waited for me to open the door again.
I remember the day He spoke to me, and this time I didn't push away. He showed me a fork in the road and said "You can keep going on this path, the one you're one now, and MAYBE later on you'll come back to church, but it will be very hard, and you might not make it." That echoed in my mind, God just told me that I "might not make it" and then He said " or you can choose this way, and go back now, and it will be easier." I responded and said "Now sounds good."
I went home and started going back to church. I was not instantaneously changed, it took time to get my mindset out of where I had been and on to where I was headed. There were many times that I fell, but instead of walking away I kept pushing forward (with lots of help from God).
There were plenty of trials, tears, pain, misunderstanding, and frustration. I had been back in church about a year and a half, maybe two. I was attending IBC and I was struggling. I had begun to let things creep in front of God again and I was beginning to feel that pull back down the wrong path.
During a chapel service, while I was praying, I felt God speaking to me again. I imagined myself inside a ship, standing on deck, and the sea was raging, the storm was overwhelming. As the ship tossed, I fell overboard, but somehow managed to catch a rope. As I'm holding on, I look up and see the ship, I look down and see the sea. I didn't know if I had the strength to climb,but I knew if I fell I would be lost, I would die in the storm. At that moment I knew I had a decision to make and I decided that no matter what I would hold on, that I would never let go.
What this imagination/vision, whatever you want to call it, showed me is that if I let every storm overwhelm me, I would be lost; but if I made the decision to hang on to God, to hang on to the Truth, no matter what, that I could make it, that God would make a way and He would be with me every step.
That day I purposed in my heart that I would not look back, that I would never let go. Even if times get hard, which they will, I will not leave from following after God. Even if the rest of my life I was simply hanging on through the storm, I would not let go.
Psalm 119:30-35 "I have chosen the way of truth: thy judgments have I laid before me.
I have stuck unto thy testimonies: O LORD, put me not to shame.
I will run the way of thy commandments, when thou shalt enlarge my heart.
Teach me, O LORD, the way of thy statutes; and I shall keep it unto the end.
Give me understanding, and I shall keep thy law; yea, I shall observe it with my whole heart.
Make me to go in the path of thy commandments; for therein do I delight. "
I have made my choice. I have chosen the way of Truth, no turning back, no giving up, all or nothing.
What choice have you made?